WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
