wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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