he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize