what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have fence marks all over my body
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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