you win again, gameday.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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