Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
