She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
