We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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