sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
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Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
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It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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