why didn't you poke me back
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize