Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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