What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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