i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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