ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
