so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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