i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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