So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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