Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
