dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it glows. i had to have it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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