Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
