can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
