You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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