they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
