and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
