Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
