Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i now understand why vodka
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
