Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I didn't notice because vodka
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
