I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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