my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
