i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
