Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
