Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize