Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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