As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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