How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
