i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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