I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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