Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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