Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
