I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
