"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
