Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
