I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
