Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
