dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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