lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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