No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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