He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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