I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
