I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
