found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
