i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
