good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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