I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
