just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
