Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
