id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
