He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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