Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
