I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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