Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
