foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
