Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with