you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Mom said you looked used
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.