I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
