worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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