i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
