dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
