I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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