I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
