Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
